I’ve never been much of a wrestling fan. When I was a kid, I’d put it on once and while. Peewee hockey banquets always seemed to involve watching a tape of a wrestling pay-per-view, and dollar drink specials on Monday nights during university meant I consumed some of the Attitude era of WWE Raw.

The matches themselves kinda suck, with the exception of having an appreciation for the acrobatics of wrestlers like Rey Mysterio. The real draw for me was always the entrances. Kane’s was nails. Maybe I just like fire. Games like WWE Smackdown on Playstation were great because I got to live out the dream of creating my character’s own entrance. I spent way too much time creating wrestlers, and rarely did I actually play the game.

Anyways, that is a long way to get to what would be my wrestler entrance music. I started writing this with no idea what my answer was. The plan was to head out to the lake, throw my music library on shuffle, and figure it out while reading David Sedaris’ latest book.

Now let’s fast forward to the answer. (Assume I have returned with a clear head and motivated to provide the answer.)

In a moment of clarity while sitting at the lake, the answer is obvious. Army of Me by Björk. There were other options, like “Nutbush City Limits” by Ike and Tina Turner, but that felt oddly specific to a certain type of wrestling persona. If I wasn’t leaning heavily into a gimmick and just being myself as a wrestler, Army of Me would fit. Maybe it just seems like it fits because I’ve been listening to a turn of Björk lately and this was my gateway song.

The idea of a single-person army fits wrestling almost perfectly. If someone told me a wrestler used this already in the 90s, I wouldn’t be surprised. The song balances swagger and strange perfectly, and while I generally lack the swagger of a pro wrestler, this is the type of song that brings it out.

It raises an interesting question: is this my fight song? I’d say no. That might be another addition to this list, and my early guess is Ballroom Blitz is what I’d land on.