It seems long overdue for me to recognize a mild life accomplishment in this space. I have completed my first novel. In fact, I completed it a few weeks ago and finally had the courage to put it in the hands of my parents and my wife for the first read through. Welcome to anxietyville.

Putting something you’ve created out for even your friends and family to see is never easy, but this book was about as personal as I’ve ever been with anyone, even the closest members of my family. At the minimum it’s a glimpse into how my brain works, my writing style, and what I want to put out into the world to read.

In truth, this book was far more than that. It is me for the most part. My grief, my politics, my childhood, my early life in the 20s, my philosophy, why I’ve made some of my life decisions, and perhaps most daunting when my parents are reading it, a glimpse into my sexuality. Yuck.

Putting this out to my family was a tough first step for me but it has also reinvigorated me in the process. Editing is coming a bit quicker than it was before. I’m ready to make some additions and when they think I’m ready to hear it, I’m excited to know what my primary audience thinks I should cut.

If writing the book is half the process, I must at least now be at the 60% mark towards completion. Knowing how my brain works and my tendency for run on sentences means that I will soon be pitying whichever editor I land on for truly testing how I deal with criticism. I stubbornly want to believe that I know best and telling my story my way is important but even as I do my self-editing, I’ve come to appreciate the process and how the story can improve with fresh sets of eyes.

I’m tossing this up on the site to keep myself motivated and crossing my fingers that I fight against my worst urges to say, “good enough.” I want this to be my best work as writing a book is no easy task and who knows if I’ll ever finish another novel (I have started a second one.) Getting it right matters.