We’re onto my third post of about music, an extensive and subjective topic that I’ll never pretend to be a definitive authority on. For the most part I’m a consumer of pop music. Most bands I haven’t heard of I haven’t heard of for a reason. And other than some distant piano lessons and a year of alto sax in middle school band, I am not a creator of music.

I also tend to love high energy bangers and songs that put me in a good mood. My playlist theme for today was a song that I listen to when I’m sad and I want to stay that way. That’s a rare thing for me, but I have a couple.

Do I Wait? by Ryan Adams is definitely a sad bastard song for me. Ryan Adams was my sister’s favourite musician and every time I hear this song I think of her and the life she never led.

The thing is, I’d never put this song on myself. It’s not a song I listen to when I’m feeling big feelings (like I say when my kids are upset.) I keep it in my digital music library, and I let it make me feel sad when it comes on. Painfully remembrance is healthy. I’d be shitty if I didn’t want to feel my grief. This song hurts a lot.

My actual sad bastard song is largely in same bane and is what I listen to and feel my grief. It’s Night Windows by The Weakerthans. The bigger difference is that I’m a fan of The Weakerthans and while I think of my sister a lot while I listen to it. It’s not steeped in the years of her trying to get me into Ryan Adams. There aren’t stories of Jenn attending Weakerthans concerts. The lore of Ryan Adams hurts.

Night Windows is something I can enjoy and feel sad. The Winnipeg connection also helps. I can picture the streets of the city described in the song. The dark tree lined streets of the city’s core. The dilapidated porches of the North End. The glowing light of a televising shining in the window of my old bungalow in St. Boniface. Nostalgia, pain, remembrance. That’s my jam.

Like I said, I prefer to limit these songs. That said, this is about as perfect a song as you could ever hope to write.